We all have phases in life when we feel lost. We are drowned in self-doubt, our mental health at the brink of insanity, and we are left with nothing but frustration. Since the internet is the best and most convenient way of getting so much information in little to no time, we head towards it in despair. You google questions like “how to find motivation/purpose in life?” or “steps for self-improvement?” and you will be landing on countless google searches on how to do so.

You find hundreds and thousands of people suggesting to you how to gain your confidence back in life. There are various people from different professions and ethnicities: everyone tries their best to guide you when you have lost track.

Your next few hours from your valuable day are spent watching videos full of motivational serotonin. Strangers, who are entirely unaware of your life struggles, overgeneralize everyday life hurdles and tell you how not to act lazy and “try a bit harder.” In all that time, you could contemplate and get better answers on your own, but you preferred someone on the internet to indirectly judge you and tell you that you are not doing enough with your life. The temporary rush of dopamine remains intact only for a day or two, and then you are back to zero.

See, the problem is never your positive approach to getting help, but the way you are doing it. The Internet might be the cheapest way to get almost everything we want, but there is still a lot of online information that is still not meant for you. And that is one of the reasons why you need to stop motivational videos.

Fake-positivity:

The motivational speakers record lectures, conduct workshops, and say everything to make you feel better about yourself. They tell you what you want to hear: eternal bliss once you achieve your goal. Fame, success, and money. But what they do not mention in their heroic speeches are the countless hurdles they had to go through, the hardships they had to face before they reached here.

Motivation comes from the inside, not from the outside:

It is not that you do not know anything about yourself at all. In fact, you are avoiding it by constantly keeping yourself engaged in the fantasies you will never fulfill. Escapism is good when life blows too much at you. But making it a habit can cause damaging feedback loopholes that you cannot afford at any cost. Stop listening to what others have to say about you and your life. Start contemplating and introspecting your life on your own. Take one step at a time, pick one struggle and work on it till you succeed. Gradual improvement is unnoticeable, but as your progress, you will be motivated to do more. Motivation doesn’t derive actions. Meaningful and productive activities derive inspiration. Easier said than done, but you have to convince yourself to do better every day, even when you do not feel like doing so.

Struggles are private, and experiences are subjective:

You might have heard simple phrases like “reach for the stars,” “dream big,” or “sky is the limit.” But for some of us, life is not that easy. Not everyone has the privilege to dream big and try their best to achieve it. Many socioeconomic scenarios cause hurdles. Or sometimes it is just too much responsibility of a loved one that has you bound. In short, no matter how hard you try, you can never escape the determined loops of your daily struggle with life. For some of us, one day at a time is the only way out. The best thing to do is: do what you can do while being safe and healthy within your social circle. Getting out of the comfort zone does not mean you have to put your mental health at stake.

There will be no motivation days, and that’s okay:

Overwhelming workload, emotional frustration, and fast-paced life are just too much to cope with. And when it all gets heavy, you have no energy to get out of bed and start your day. There is nothing “blissful” about the days you feel no motivation to work. There is no “trying harder” when all you need is physical, emotional, and mental rest. It is okay not to be okay on these days. To work slower. It is okay if you feel drained after consistently working all week. You are trying. And it is okay to rest sometimes.

What you need is discipline, not instant boosts of energy:

We all have lazy days. And some us take a bit more time than others to get into the productive zone. It does not define our worthlessness or us not trying enough. After watching a motivational video, the little rise-up moments still won’t make any difference unless you do something about your toxic patterns. Identify where you lack and try to follow a schedule. That’s the thing about being disciplined: you have to do the task even when you are not feeling to do so.

The Takeaway:

Motivational videos can make you feel more miserable about yourself than you already are. Take a break from your monotonous life and analyze how you can help yourself and when you need professional assistance.

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